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No anxiety, no fear, no insomnia, feel your calm

12 years of living with anxiety disorders Ⅱ

12 years of living with anxiety disorders Ⅱ

origin

In fact, my anxious character already has the clue.When I was in high school, I often had headaches and insomnia. I didn't sleep the night before the college entrance examination.But I was really good at that time, so the college entrance examination was still very smooth.At the same time, I was suffering from a severe lack of confidence.

It was 2003 when I knew I had an anxiety disorder.

That summer, after a few months of marriage and moving into a newly renovated house, I was looking in the mirror at my freshly pierced, festering, swollen ear when I noticed a swelling on the right side of my neck.

I rushed to the hospital, the doctor solemnly told me that the thyroid has a tumor, may be malignant.

Of be worth youth time I be hit immediately fall down, changed a hospital to prove later that is just a benign thyroid tumor, be in hospital moved an operation had gone.But I was left with a fear of cancer. I always felt sick, worried about my stomach, worried about fever, worried about lymphoma... I strongly believe that I have an incurable disease.

Maybe you will say: you are so melodramatic! What I'm trying to say is that the panic I was going through was so real that I couldn't work at all.

I remember one time when I was having dinner with friends and I had a panic attack,my tongue was numb and I couldn't swallow anything,I left the table and squatted down on the floor, crying so bitterly that my friends were horrified.

I first experienced the "near-death feeling" of depression and anxiety. Yeah, feeling like you're going to die.

Then a sore lymph node grew in my neck. I repeatedly ran to the hospital seven or eight times, telling the doctor about my fears, doing all the tests I should do and shouldn't do, forcing the doctor to puncture me to confirm my condition. Finally the doctor said to me: I suggest you go to the psychological department.

The upshot was that my doctor diagnosed me with anxiety and I went home with a few boxes of anxiety medication. I started my first medication.

And then it got better.It was not until the summer of 2007 that I was so kind as to rescue a baby feral cat that I got a bite on my finger. Two days later, the kittens all died for unknown reasons. This scene gave me a strong psychological hint that the cats might have died of rabies and I might have been infected.

I ran frantically to the hospital over and over again to play rabies immunoglobulin, vaccines, bitten fingers always feel numb, and even limb walking difficulties.

I went back to the hospital and started taking medication for my anxiety.

One night, the medicine suddenly ran out, and I had a panic attack, so I had to ask my husband to drive me to the hospital in the middle of the night to get the medicine. I felt like I had a rabies attack and I was going to die.

 

 

Not finished, to be updated …

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