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No anxiety, no fear, no insomnia, feel your calm

12 years of living with anxiety disorders Ⅲ

12 years of living with anxiety disorders Ⅲ

Years later, I still remember deeply, 1 am, that rushed into the emergency room crying to the doctor.

My fear of rabies didn't go away until two months later, when I went to the CDC and got my rabies antibody positive report.

Later, I thought that my daughter might inherit this disease. I lost the desire to eat and the feeling of hunger. My weight suddenly dropped to the lowest level in my adult life.It wasn't until I went to the hospital again and took medication for a while that I realized my daughter wasn't as bad as I thought.

It was not until my daughter was diagnosed as normal by all the doctors and experts, and she grew up happily and healthily, that I slowly forgot about heredity.

But the anxiety in life is everywhere, I am always afraid of those extreme things in life, worry about parents, worry about family, worry about daughter, worry about myself...... During the attack, I couldn't listen to or control what people were saying.

For example, my family can't tell me they have any physical discomfort. I get scared when my daughter says her leg hurts, she's often tonsillitis, and every time she has a fever, it makes me jumpy.The year before last, after a tonsil-like abscess healing, her white blood cell is always higher than the normal value,continuous blood tests for several weeks, and even changed several hospitals, are the same results, I was very panic, repeatedly asked the doctor, daughter is not what bad disease.

I took my daughter to the children's hospital and waited in line for a whole day to get a blood smear. A few days later, when the result confirmed nothing abnormal, I was relieved for the time being.

One day I noticed that my daughter had a little bulge under her armpits at each end,I immediately thought of lymph nodes, and went straight to the hospital. Even the doctor who was seeing my daughter saw my abnormalities and comforted me repeatedly, which did not seem to be a big problem. Later, B-ultrasound results proved that it was just chubby fat, and I felt alive again.

It can be said that anxiety disorder suffered the most, is my own. So, I have to take medicine.

After taking the medicine, of course, there are some side effects. One is that I have to go to the doctor regularly once or twice a month. My brain becomes numb and forgetful due to taking the medicine, and my super memory and sharp reaction ability become dull, and my inspiration is also less. And from radical to apathetic and occasionally evasive; It went from being anxious to being slack, which is obviously not good either.

Another side effect that I can't stand is getting fat.

Several times I have failed my regular treatment for anxiety,It's all because of the drugs that made me put on weight.Recently I have changed my medicine again and again, and that's why.

However, the benefits are also obvious. After taking the medicine regularly, my temper is much calmer and my anxiety is much less.In my experience, the first two weeks of taking the medication is the biggest side effects, like dizziness and nausea, but after the two weeks, the effects gradually appear, the side effects will become less obvious.

All in all, my life is much better. The life of the people around me is much better. I'm also in the mood to continue studying food and start cooking.

 

Not finished, to be updated …

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